i don’t trust you, a dream

Last night, I had a dream. And I seem not to forget it. I remember the details quite distinctively. We were sitting on the senior side staircase on the second floor of my school. Properly dressed in winter uniform, however, none of us was wearing the blue/green blazers. We were discussing, talking about how our lives are going on. One of my closest friends started crying. Everyone around was hugging her and trying to soothe her. Hugging her one by one, from the person sitting right next to her to the person standing the farthest among us. Then it was my turn to hug her. Interesting thing about hugs and me is that we don’t go along so much. I am quite awkward when I have to hug people. But at that very moment, it did not feel awkward at all. I bent down and went for the hug. She stopped me. And then, I remember each word, she said that I should not hug her and that she doesn’t trust me. She continue and said that she would let anyone but not me to hug her. That’s when I woke up, looked at the clock (3:57 a.m.), around me on my bed and tried to understand what just happened. Of course, it was a dream but it hit me hard. Ever since I woke up, I have thought about it. Trust forms a large part of my life. Yes, I know I trust people blindly but I want them to trust me too. And I can assure you my blind trust is not because I want you to trust me but more of an instinct, the very first moment we meet. Not really a great habit, is it? Transparency hurts sometimes, and maybe I am over thinking about the happenings in this dream, but what if it could be true? A million dollar question for me and I have no ways to find an answer to it. Confronting her would be awkward. Maybe. Maybe not. Chuck! It would be!

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