chaitanya : living a story, living a lie

Angry Young Man

Have you ever been so angry that you burned down the place? Or killed someone? Or tried to hurt yourself. Maybe took big life decisions? Or forgot about being angry sometime later? Well yes, I always forget that I was angry.

Angry Fairy

Whenever I am angry, a gush of thoughts goes in my head. Disturbing thoughts – full of old memories. Memories I don’t want to stick with. It is rare but sometimes I even start screaming in my head a lot and lot of abusive words. Kind of strange because they don’t even suit the situation. These new thoughts and screams form my new opinion about the thing I am angry on. Say I am angry on me getting scolded for not doing my homework. What many people would go for is – to do their homework next time. I think about it. And finally decide on – never doing homework ever! All this thinking goes for about 30 minutes before I fall asleep.

Fairy: the anger thief.

At night fairies come down on earth and do their magic. Magic? Yup! I decided to never do my homework, right?. But by the time I wake up I forget everything. I don’t even have a clue that I was scolded or I was angry. Like it never happened. I am unaware of the happenings. I am unaware of my new opinion. It feels like a rebirth. Even a five-minutes short sleep is enough to calm me down when I am angry.

I am not able to understand why this happens. How come I forget such things which made me angry? My friends tell me that I am really patient. So that means it is a rare chance that I will be resentful. Not being able to get angry for even something big, has always prevented me taking a tough step forward. And I stand at the same old place even after doing something wrong.



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